Winging it on a daily basis so people think I am 'normal'. Doing my best to pass as an adult.
Struggle with maturity and immaturity, food and weight, love and hate, God and Me and a myriad of other things that make the world go round.
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PurpleAfricanPrincess' rollercoaster ride
Well my relationship with the good old UK of GB is over. I’m heading back to the motherland in a week for good.
Should be interesting since I’ve not maintained any ties but, I was just thinking that I was the same going to Cape Town and coming here- didn’t really know anyone so i’ll probably survive :-*
Got a nice little stock of happy pills so at least that’ll help me to smile through anything and not become a hermit.
Well i have moved again! Yup, that makes 3 times in 10 months. Yippee for me!
This time i got myself a lovely cold and sinus infection. i think it was the emotional stress- what if it all goes tits up again? It’s getting embarrassing. But at the end of the day really- it’s me who has to live this life- nobody else- mistakes and all so it’s my problem and best thing- i am not asking anyone to sacrifice, fund or get involved in my mess so…Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
In other news, this week was the third time in just over a month that my dad has commented about my weight. He asked if I had started my diet. No i said. I only want you to be healthy. I still failed to give the proper response as in- back off- how well has this line worked in the past. Have i asked you for help, money, medication as a result of being so fat? No? Oh i see. Well that’s something to ponder on then. It seems to me that the man is obsessed- i think it has something to do with control but I have not seen this level of nonsense in many years. But to be fair he says this is “too much now. You’ve put on more weight than before”. So i guess it warrants a more intense line of harassment.
There is alos the question of what i will “do” this year. Apparently Daddy Dearest feels i should be studying. It beggars belief so he thinks i am far too fat, and also risking my brain cells degenerating becsaue i have done no studying in many moons…2006 to be precise.
I might mention this to the monster see what she thinks because it is really bugging me now. If i could cry with fury, and annoyance I probably would have by now. Because i am actually starting to feel like a useless fat lump. Way to go Dad!
It would be even funnier if i hadn’t had all these thoughts for myself in the last 6 months. But there you have it!
- it even counts when one is alive. Being remembered by those you love and care about means you still matter and are important to them. A phone call, a text, even those blasted idiotic forwarded chain emails….
So I got back from a hectic few days in London seeing friends i hadn’t seen in years.
We walked miles shopping and in the end i had to get some of those lovely indoor bootees and wear them around becasue my poor feetsies were killing me. The thick padding on the sole was great. Anyway needless to say my feet were a mess- swollen, blisters the lot.
So i got home and was showing the damage to the monster who told Daddy Dearest when he called. He asked to speak to me, convo as follows
Dad- Hi how are you. Did you have fun?
Me- Yes Dad it was epic
Dad- So i hear your feet are swollen
Me- Yes
Dad- You need to lose weight because in a few years you’ll not be able to and all these types of problems will pop up and you won’t be able to deal with them
Me- Yes Dad.
Yup that makes it twice in 3 weeks he’s had that convo with me. It makes me feel funny. It makes me want to cry, scream and shout and just binge right there!
It’s just so tiring. Made worse by the fact that i know it to be a fact that this is a problem. I am just rubbish with dealing with it.
February’s target is to lose at least 3lbs. Shouldn’t be hard because i’m broke and have no snacky food anyhow :-(
Does anyone know what to do about it- how to fix it?
I want to, i need to but i can’t.
Not sure if i’m too lazy, can’t concentrate, guilt factor of wanting to pray for myself so i feel too selfish.
It’s too wierd. I can have a 2-3 day run of good prayer but then- dries up. Just like that.
Do i just get into the habit- form prayer or Lord’s prayer or something and then go on from that? I’m tired of buying books about it and reading up about it and still not getting anywhere.
And before you say it- i have prayed about not being able to pray.
Why am i getting cramping lke my period is here…it stopped like 3 days ago…
*sigh* and this is why i take my pill continuously…I.CANNOT.DEAL.WITH.THIS.SHIT!
Plus i gotta get my freak on this weekend!
(via iwilltrustinyou)
Dad- I've decided your year's resolution
Me- Mine??
Dad- Yes. It's to go on diet.
Me- Huh?
Dad- yes you need to lose weight. It's too much this time
Stepmum- Huh?
Dad- You need to go back to you 2010 weight- healthy weight.
Me- *speechless*
Yes Dad my 2010 weight was pre serious depression as well as anti-depressant meds. If you didn't notice 2011 was a SHIT year for me so what did i do- self-soothe with food! That and the meds did not help but i hear you. You are of course right. Thanks for making me feel so much beter for it.Oh yeah i also lost 2lbs last week. Thanks
I’m tired, Auntie Flo is visiting, I have a headache and a belly ache. I feel a big fat mess. Mood is low and i can’t be bothered.
I ask you why is it necessary for a woman to have a monthly period? It’s pointless unless you are actually wanting to procreate and also it appears that a period isn’t even necessary for that either.
Imagine if animals did- the ones with predators would all be extinct by now!
Ladies departments/Woman’s bits are just really really gross.
And to Always- there is no such thing as a happy period!!!!!!!
